There is no going around it; I have been stressed out lately. Don't get me wrong, I feel both lucky and blessed; I have a great family and caring friends, and I have a job which is a good thing to have considering the state of our economy. The stress has amounted to the point that I am beginning to feel like a burden to my friends. Yesterday was the last straw, so many things happened, and I felt like I just wanted all the drama present in my work place to make a great escape and never return.
I have wanted to change things for a long time, take control of my own life and my own destiny. Over chamomile tea, I started asking questions, why is it that we care so much about people that do not directly affect our lives? Why do we care about people that mean nothing to us in the grand scheme that is life? Here I have been so "worried" about the opinions and thoughts of others when I really should have been caring about how I feel and how those that I care about feel. There is saying, "those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind". The people who really care about you will care about you regardless of the mistakes you make, regardless of your short-comings. After all, we are all flawed, we all have our imperfections. Beyonce says in her song "Flaws and All", "I'm a puzzle yes indeed/ ever complex in every way/ and all the pieces aren't even in the box/ and yet you see the picture clear as day,......... I neglect you when I'm working/ when I need attention I tend to nag/ I'm a host of imperfections/ and you see past all that/ I'm a peasant by some standards/ but in your eyes I'm a queen". I think that song is one you listen to, and you hope that someday you are lucky enough to have someone like that in your life.
I remembered that at my college graduation, the keynote speaker said that in our lives we can either choose to, "live in optimism or live in fear". I decided a long time ago that I had to make the choice to live in optimism because making the choice to live in fear just seems weak. The thing I have found most difficult about living in optimism is that a lot of things will come along in your life and those things make you feel down. How is it that we just kind of find a way, the way to get past them? A friend told me that when something happens to me that upsets me or bothers me, I should just think to myself, wow, that is messed up and it sucks, and then I just have to make the conscientious decision to move on. I agree, but at the same time, I feel when all of us are continually hurt by other people in our lives, it makes it harder and harder for us to live our lives that way.
Maybe we should think of the bad happenings in our lives like a door that is closing. Someone at my college graduation also told me that, "In life, when one door closes another door opens, but more often than not, we are so focused on the closed door that we don't even see the open one". It's hard to move on in life from the things/ people that hurt us when we don't see other options available, when we feel like we've been knocked down and we don't want it to happen again. I've decided that a large part of life is strength, emotional strength; because it builds character and that builds confidence. Most likely, if we aren't confident then we are weak, and weak people don't survive and obtain happiness in a tough world like this. We have to "love the life that we live, and live the life that we love". We also have to love ourselves first because we cannot love anyone else the way that they deserve to be loved if we don't do that. Life can be so confusing sometimes too because just when we think that we have things figured out, order of importance and all that, something happens that makes us reevaluate.
Some people don't take anything in life with any degree of seriousness; it's like everything in life to them is a big game, and if they fail once, twice, three times, it's okay because there will be plenty more chances. But see, that's the thing, life is a one time opportunity as far as I am concerned, we have to make the most of it. We have to be willing to take risks sometimes because the pay off is so big and so rewarding. Having fun is essential to leading a less stressful life but at the same time, there are times when the need to be serious is necessary (i.e. telling someone special how you feel about them and not just saying it but proving it, listening when a family member or friend is going through a difficult time because you know they would return the favor). Life is a journey above all, and every once and a while we have to stop, take a breath, and take it all in.