These past couple of days have been a whirlwind of sorts. The unexpected deaths of Kobe Bryant, his 13 year old daughter Gianna, some friends, and a helicopter pilot have been emotionally paralyzing. I have read so many tributes and Instagram posts, touching and emotional words from those who knew Kobe or admired him. It made me feel like somehow I knew him too. I think actor James Van Der Beek had a great perspective on it when he said, “when tragedy befalls a legend... it effects us. And we post about it. Not just because of their achievements, great though they may have been, or because they were more important than the millions who also may have suffered that day, but because our shared grief makes us human”. We empathize with one another, and for those moments when we’re thinking about that person, we all have something in common. We have a shared love, a shared appreciation, a shared respect.
I will admit, early in Kobe’s basketball career, I struggled with what I thought of him. To me, with fame comes great responsibility. Being a basketball player, so many young people idolized Kobe, and I wondered if he was a good example for them. I was hard on him, unrelenting at times. He had that sexual assault charge in 2003, one that was later dropped. He admits it almost destroyed his marriage to Vanessa. The truth is, I don’t know what happened, none of us do. I’d like to think that he grew from whatever happened. I’d like to think that God and the universe was trying to tell him something when he blessed Kobe with four beautiful daughters. On the flip side, I’d like to think that those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. We have all made mistakes. We have all done things we would rather forget. We are all inherently flawed. I’ve always made a point of saying that as hard as I am on others, I’m even harder on myself, probably tenfold.
I’ll tell you my true feelings about Kobe Bryant. For the time he played for the Lakers, he made me a fan. Growing up in Boston, perhaps the greatest sports city in the country, I have obviously always been a Celtics fan first, but Kobe, Kobe made me respect and appreciate one of our greatest rivals. Oh I routed for the Lakers many times. There was something special about Kobe as a basketball player and as a person. You could tell by the way he played ball that he had unrelenting drive. There was this fire in him, it made him the best of competitors. And these qualities translated to his life. It was clear.
What else is true about Kobe? As great as he was, his talent limitless it seemed; he was humble. He never forgot where he started or where he came from. He was genuine and generous with his time. So many have talked about how he made them feel special in the moments that they spent together. He did not have “passing moments” with people, but rather, he spent time getting to know them and chatting with them. Kobe loved his family. What comes across through photograph after photograph is the love he had for them. The reason he traveled so much via helicopter was to be able to get more time with his family.
Perhaps though what was most inspiring and most relatable about Kobe is that he was human, and he fully admitted it. A couple years ago Kobe released the documentary “Dear Basketball”. The running time was five minutes and it won an Oscar for Best Animated Short Film, it was the first Oscar for an athlete. Fitting that it was Kobe. Was there anything he couldn’t do? We need not go through stats, But we will, 5 time NBA champion, 2 time finals MVP, 1 time league MVP, 2 time Olympic gold medalist, so many All Star selections I can’t count, it was over 15; the man scored 60 points in his last game. “Dear Basketball” is Kobe’s story, his goodbye letter to basketball, and it’s beautiful.
Hearing the news yesterday, I couldn’t believe it. I thought someone was playing a cruel trick. After seeing it on my Instagram feed, I had to turn on the news just to be sure. Immediately after finding out it was true, I cried. I cried because someone who was young and had so much to live for, so much life left, lost their life needlessly. I prayed so hard that it wasn’t true, that it was just a terrible dream. I prayed that no one else perished. When unconfirmed reports came through that children were on board, I prayed to God, please no! When all was said and done, nine people lost their lives yesterday, including three children. Dozens of families were changed forever in a matter of moments yesterday, countless friends and fans. I think Jennifer Lopez put it best when she said, “we are all feeling sadness from this loss, but all I can think of is that it is a grain of sand compared to what Vanessa must be going through right now”.
Kobe was human. Despite the fact that he was a talented, disciplined athlete who had a work ethic like no other, he had a lot of self doubt. If someone like Kobe could have self doubt, then it’s possible for me, and that I can still potentially achieve greatness and that it’s up to me—- it makes me believe anything is possible. He talked a lot about the “Mamba mentality”, how it made him push forward at his weakest moments and access the champion within himself. He inspired countless people. He inspired me. His sense of humanity is his legacy, his will not be forgotten.
“I have self doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘my back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate it. You embrace it”. — Kobe Bryant
“Those times when you get up early, and you work hard; those times when you stay up late and you work hard; those times when you don’t feel like working— you’re too tired, you don’t want to push yourself, but you do it anyway. That is actually the dream. That’s the dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. And if you guys can understand that, what you’ll see happen is that you won’t accomplish your dreams, your dreams won’t come true, something greater will”. — Kobe to his daughters the night he retired from the NBA
I would ask you to please click this link and see how the Grammys paid tribute to Kobe: https://www.essence.com/awards-events/red-carpet/grammys/alicia-keys-boyz-ii-men-grammys-kobe-bryant/
Leave your thoughts and love below. Life is too short, tell your loved ones you love them. Hold them close, don’t take life for granted.
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